No Flare Jeans Allowed!

April 4, 2012

Daily Post, Fortos Fort

Yesterday I got an education in teen fashion. I thought I would be nice and head to the local Kohl’s–only 150 miles round trip–to buy my 14 year old daughter, Nicole, a couple pairs of jeans.

Paying little attention to anything but size I picked up a couple pair for less than 40 bucks. I thought it was a heck of a deal!

I paid my cash, jumped back in the truck and headed the hour drive home.

Later in the evening, bag in hand I called Nicole down. I handed over the pants and within moments all hell broke loose!

Nicole stormed upstairs and a “conversation” ensued for the better part of an hour about why kids don’t wear flare jeans.


I was a child of the 70s wearing Toughskins and bell-bottoms. In the 80s I worn acid-wash, pegged legs, and I will admit even a pair of red parachute pants. In the 90s I wore hole’y jeans and flannel shirts and a pair of Doc Martins.

Now in 2012 I only wear Khakis and probably should work the graveyard shift at State Farm.

That all being said, I think of myself as a pretty progressive fashion conscious guy in his early 40s that still wears the occasional tie-dye.

I guess not.

Because in the Forto household flare jeans are the ultimate fashion faux pas. They are not allowed under any circumstance come hell or high-water. Hey wait a minute… High-waters?!

Only Skinny Jeans or nothing!

I learned my lesson and I’m heading back to Kohl’s today.

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About robertforto

Robert Forto is the owner of Dog Works Training Company in Alaska, a canine behaviorist, mushin' down a dream, sports nut and radio show host. Robert writes a lot about his observations in Alaska, pop culture, music, and of course dogs!

View all posts by robertforto

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